Only now, wake up!
I’m back. I have to say I had an interesting 9 days at the monastery. I learned an awful lot about myself while I was there. I feel like my practice has grown a lot from the whole experience, and I’m actually looking forward to spending some more time there, soon.
It really is quite amazing what you can learn about yourself when yo take the time to really investigate what it is that makes you tick. Buddha’s last words before he passed away were “Life is short, please examine it closely”. Well, I spent 17 hours a day for 9 days doing just that. The change in perspective was amazing. We spend so much time in our lives running around chasing ideas and thoughts and not really paying attention to what’s going on around us at any given moment. The world is a truly amazing place full of amazing experiences and sights and sounds that we never even begin to perceive because we’re too busy chasing our thoughts and attachments. One night that I was there, we had a thunderstorm roll through. I think had I been anywhere else on any other day, I would have looked out the window and either been upset that it was raining, or maybe just looked at the storm with indifference and not given it another thought. But while I was sitting on my meditation cushion, being in the present moment, something happened. It was truly amazing. While the storm was nothing special, in so much as it was just like any other rain storm, it was also the most amazing storm of my life. I could smell the rain and the ozone int he air, I could feel the buzz of the electricity, I could feel the floor and walls tremble ever so slightly with each clap of thunder. All that was in my mind was the sound of the rain beating hard against the rocks outside, the pond at the bottom of the hill, the tile roof, the sky lights, and the wooden deck outside. I heard the trees rustling and swaying in the wind. I could feel the buzz in the air that came with each flash of lightning. I was so moved, and yet, my mind and body were still. Amazing.
On one of the clearer days, during a short break I had, I sat outside on the deck looking down at the pond and looking at the trees. The colors were so bright and amazing. There was a squirrel in a tree picking nuts from the tree and eating them. I think I must have been watching the squirrel for only about 5 minutes or so, but it felt like years. I felt like I knew the squirrel and that he and I were friends. I watched him eating and watching me. He dropped a nut and chased it down the tree. It’s funny how the simplest things can be some of the most amazing experiences.
when I left on Sunday, I was afflicted with something I could only describe as “time compression”. I was well aware of the fact that it was Sunday, and that I had spent 9 days there, but yet, it only felt like like a day or two. I imagine the sensation has something to do with the schedule we followed. Each day was laid out exactly alike, with only the smallest details changing. One day for lunch we had soup, another we had pasta, one day I wore gray pants, another I wore blue, but each day was so much like the last and the next. Really weird sensation. It was funny getting into my car afterwards, too. I felt like I hadn’t driven in years. When my car got up to 30 miles an hour on rt 122 in Cumberland I felt like I was flying. The pace of life was so slow the whole week prior. I dunno, I guess you kinda had to be there.
So … a story …
Lao Tzu was practicing in a hermitage in Wu for many years. To help sustain his practice, he had a young attendant who would fetch him food and water and bring him paper and quills, etc. Lao Tzu was an enlightened man and he realized that every thing was the same. He had no preferences. He was was as happy in a cave as he was in a palace, he didn’t care. His young attendant however, being a young boy, hated the cave / hermitage and hated waiting on an old man and wanted more excitement in his life. One day, the ruler of WU summons for Lao Tzu for his advice. When the attendant gave the message to his master, Lao Tzu was not impressed. He didn’t care if the king wanted his advice. He didn’t care who the king was, it didn’t really matter. But the attendant was so excited, so Lao Tzu changed his mind and decided he would go see what the king wanted. So the attendant gathers up some food and provisions and a couple horses and prepared the two for their trip to the capitol. On the trip, Lao Tzu couldn’t have cared less about being on horse back; He would be just as content walking as he would be riding a horse, it didn’t really matter to him one way or the other. The attendant, however, couldn’t have been in a bigger hurry. He had never been the capital before, and with each passing moment was getting more and more excited about seeing the capital and the palace and possibly meeting the king. As the two travelers came to the top of a hill over looking the valley where the capital sat, the attendant so was so excited he was ready to burst. Before them laid a sprawling metropolis (Chinese urban centers were huge even back then) unlike anything the young boy had ever seen. In his excitement the boy wanted to charge down the hill side to the city and shouted “Master, we’re finally almost there! My what a wonderful place that must be! Let’s hurry!”. As the boy reached back with his whip to whip his horse into action, at that moment, Lao Tzu grabbed the boys arm, stopping him short. Lao Tzu looked at the boy and calmly said “This too is a nice place”. At that moment, the boy became enlightened.
We spend so much of our lives being like the boy. We rush around trying so hard to get to the next destination, to acquire the next object, to accomplish the next feat, that we miss the wonder and amazement of the situation we are already in. This moment, this place, right now; This is what is important.
Thank you Zen Master Dae Kwang Su Nim for your wonderful and wise teaching.
